So, we hijacked her and packed her with our luggage for our return flight after Easter. Sister Debbie followed a couple of days later, obviously wise to the perils of flying with small children.
On their first weekend here, we went tourist-tastic and had a great night out in the Burj Al Arab.
By great, I don't mean cheap. The minimum hourly spend in the hotel bar is £60 per person per hour, and they serve the world's most expensive cocktail at 27,321AED (about £5ooo). Fortunately, Mark doesn't really like cocktails.
By great, I don't mean great decor. The views out of the windows are pretty amazing, but inside the Sky Bar feels a bit like you have accidentally wandered on to the USS Enterprise.
By great, I mean very, very silly. As demonstrated by the two giggling goblins below.
To add the final touches to our Dubai-nonsense extravaganza, we took an abra tour around the fake creek.
We were floating happily on the creek, admiring the fish, when Dylan declared he needed the toilet. And he was 'Desperate, mummy. Really desperate.'
Before we could say, 'Well, you'll just have to wait,' the friendly abra man had grabbed Dylan, pulled down his shorts and dumped him into the driving bit of the boat where there was a gap (still haven't worked out why it wasn't letting in water) that was apparently perfect for small people to pee through.
Sadly, our particular small person got performance anxiety, forcing us to abandon creek cruise and resort to the old fashioned way of going for a wee. In a toilet.
To make up for sabotaging our creek trip, Dylan decided we should all go to his favourite place in the world. Fujeirah.
Heaven - as demonstrated by the view from our balcony...
As it was Mark's birthday weekend, Rachel decided to organise a surprise birthday meal for the evening. Rachel was feeling very pleased with her lovely, romantic self until...
Lady from the resort approaches Mark.
RESORT LADY: "Hello, Sir, are you with the birthday party?"
MARK (proudly): "Yes, that's me."
RESORT LADY: "Just to let you know that the table will be put on the beach as you requested, and the lanterns and candles will be ready for the surprise meal."
MARK: "Er, I think that will be my surprise meal you're talking about."
RACHEL (overhearing Mark's last comment): "Oh no, did she tell you about the cake?"
Mark: "Er, no. She didn't..."